My jokes
Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?
My friend: What?
Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
You guys wanna hear a joke?
My LOVE LIFE.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
My face when one of the boys gets off for his girl
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.