My jokes

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.

What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld

I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.

Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.

Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?

My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.

What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.

Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?

My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.

My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.

My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.