Mouth jokes
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
What’s the name of this brand? *picture of puma logo*
Them: Puma
“Puma balls in yo mouth.”
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
Evans so gay I mouth kissed him.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"
Little Johnny said, "No, what?"
She answered, "The principal's office."
Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"
The teacher answered, "No, what?"
"You have a d!ck in your mouth!"
Shut your goofy ahh mouth!