Chew Jokes

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"


what do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common. ones the pull it out everyone wants to be there friend.

What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew the answer would be a comb or a piano but technically if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them they have teeth but can't chew with them

what does a gun and gum have in common?

when you pull one out everyone wants to be your friend.

A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.

The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.

After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"

The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."

So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.

About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.

He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.

The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."


dentist: open up sir

me:so..i hate my life my family my sisters my dog my cat and i tried to take a bath with my toaster but my dog took it that's why i hate my dog and my cat died trying to chew my rope it choked.....yea

dentist: i.. meant your mouth .. so i can clean your teeth

me: :O ohhhh my bad

dentist : do u need help??

me: yep


me: ....

A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, "Teacher, I don't know what it is.". the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it's what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it's an asshole!!!"

Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote. he got stuck in a trap chewed of three of his legs and was still stuck