Mouth jokes
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
Why was the toilet angry?
Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>
Man, I miss Savor, savor these balls in ya mouth!
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
Peter: *curses*
Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?
Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.
Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common? They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."
Have you heard of China...
China fit this dick in your mouth.
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.