Mouth jokes
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
I always wear Puma, put my balls in your mouth.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
"Jonny, Jonny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa."
"Open your mouth!" Shoves hand down throat-
Ooh! I know a joke!
(Papyrus) What is it?
(Sans) Knock knock!
(Papyrus) Uh... who's there?
(Sans) Sans
(Papyrus) Sans who?
(Sans) SANS IS LAZY!!!!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SOCKS BEFORE I SHOVE MY SPAGHETTI INTO YOUR MOUTH!
(Papyrus)
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
Shut your goofy ahh mouth!