Mouth jokes
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.
Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.
PENIS PENIS
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?
I want them both in my mouth!
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"