If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
