Mortality jokes
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.