Mortality jokes
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
A good bath is like a dead lover. You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?
Because he is DEAD.
Bro told me this when he passed away.
I’m “Fading.”
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
How do trannies pass successfully? By passing away.