Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
Why are there gates on a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get inside. Lol
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
