Mortality jokes
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
-->[]life death[]<--
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
There's something special about cemeteries.
People are dying to get inside.
I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.