Mortality

Mortality jokes

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I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

What do you call a dead human?

A DEAD HUMAN! HAHAHahahah ha.. ha.. ha Am I the only one laughing?

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."

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    • 1: My grandpa died last year.

    2: What kind of cancer?

    1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.

    Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.

    Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.

    What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."

    Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

    Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

    Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?

    He couldn't make it up the stairs.