Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
He is dead.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
Steven Hawking's death, you should've gotten a case.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
Die.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
