Mortality jokes
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
Life's too short to want it.
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?
Because he is DEAD.
There's something special about cemeteries.
People are dying to get inside.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.