I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
