Morbidity jokes

Your reflection.

My grief counselor died just the other day.

He was so good though, I didn't care.

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"

What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"

More like so they can fuck him, am I right?

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

What has two legs and is red all over?

Half a cat.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."

My friends: "What's your dream job?"

Me: "I'm going to die young :))"

One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.

No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.

His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.

Digging stuff up is too hard.

I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.

So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"

She said, "Sniff, yes."

It's not pedophilia, it's early access.

Why did half of the world go to hell?

Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.

(You've been warned!)

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...

Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.

Cuddle with you.🙂

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.