Morbidity jokes
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
Actually doing homework.
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...