Morbidity jokes
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
I'm so proud of my Grandpa. He killed Hitler himself.
Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.
Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.