Morbidity jokes

A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"

What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?

He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.

Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...

I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!

This is bullshit! Stop showing cheesy and dumb jokes! This website is for dark humor, insults, and morbid content! All of you who don’t talk about the following, go die!

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.

What did Superman say to Batman?

Nothing, Bruce is dead.

Actually doing homework.

"Morbidity, the story of my life in one joke."

What’s green, fuzzy, and falls out of a tree? A pool table.

I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.

Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.

A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.

Q: Why are morbid jokes so cruel?

A: Because they are!