Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Hitler

    • what's the difference between hitler and you?

    one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.

  • 8

    • Wheelchair

    • Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

  • 2

    • Cliff

    • I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.

    They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.

  • 0

    • Bus

    • 1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

    - A bus full of children.

    2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

    - He died of a yeast infection.

    3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

    - “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

    4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

    - Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

    5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

    - Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

  • 0

    • Dad

    • I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

    Priest

    • A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"

  • 15

    • Dyslexia

    • Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.

  • 0