Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
my brother wanted to go fishing i told him he had to learn how to master bait go look it up on youtube guess who is grounded
Whats the best thing about dead baby jokes?
they never get old
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg
A homesick miscarriage
why are americans so bad at chess? Because they lost two towers
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was in the middle of 9/11
what are kidnappers favorite shoes...white vans
What’s red and very rare ?
a baby in a blinder
why does Hitler deserve heavens, because he killed Hitler.
A blind guy walks into a bar.
what do you get when you mix up a group of emos??
Suicide squad
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:... You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake
Are You a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because, I want to explode in You!
How do you circumcise a redneck Kick his sister in the chin
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender
I like my women like I like my microwaves Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her
Stephen hawking walked into a bar. just kidding:(