Morbid jokes
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.