Morbid jokes

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

Want to hear a joke?

Fortnite.

What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.

Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!

Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?

It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.

Christopher Columbus: *Sees native Americans* Can I see your land?

Native Americans: Sure, just be care..........

Christopher Columbus: Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit.

The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.

Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Disabled.

What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?

"Let us prey together."

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.

I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.

What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?

Gasar.

What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?

So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.