Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Lock

    • So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."

  • 0

    • Penguin

    • What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

    What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.

  • 2

    • Friend

    • So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

    So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"

    I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"

    She said, "Sniff, yes."

  • 0

    • Trampoline

    • "I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."

  • 0

    • Sugar

    • Johnny Johnny?

    Yes pa pa.

    Eating sugar?

    Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

  • 0

    • Survivor

    • What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast? A Sandy Hooker

  • 0

    • Date

    • There is a man and a woman on a date.

    The woman asked what kind of things do you love?

    The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.

  • 2