Morbid jokes
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin Luther King Jr.?
There was none, it was all white!
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
What would good be if it was a place?
It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.