Mom jokes

Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

My mom picked my major.

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To slide into your mom's bed.

Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"

My bully. 😭

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.