Mom jokes

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

The thing my mom birthed.

In America, mom births you.

In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.

Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!

Kid with mother: Your mom!

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭

Hey, is anyone’s mom missing? Yeah, yours.

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣