Mom jokes
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
GF be like...
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Your mom is emo, Deacon.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."
Orphan: Starts crying.
Knock, knock.
Your mom.
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.