Mom Jokes

My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.

Yeah man, you watch pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see ur mom in bed.

Yo mom so far that when she walk outside at 8am, it became Mid Night all over again.

In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:

“Jfc ****, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to god you’re so fucking bougie.” (Pause) “Oh I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan...” “Jeff who?” “Bezos.”

Trumps MOM

So I'm the Cable Guy around the neighborhood and I do everybody's table so I walked into this one house and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs I was asking where her mom was and she wasn't answering and it looked like something was wrong so I asked if anything was wrong she didn't answer so I kind of raise my voice at her but she still didn't answer and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear

what do you call a boy in your mom

your dad

My mom told me that She and the owner of Chinese made a deal. Now we l get free Chinese food. So .I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food then my mom said I love him long time.

I was on a plane and My mom said it just a little turbulence And I said Mom we just got on run way

What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?

KIT-KAT :p

if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom

evan me and you mom are done with you

Mommy why is my name brick??? mom: When you were a little baby a feather dropped on your head. mommy why is my name rose??? mom: When you were a little baby a feather dropped on your head. Brick walks in "blagudnunag"