Mom jokes
Me: I have a dream.
Mom: What?
Me: For you to fucking shut up.
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
Your mom dot com.
My mom
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."
What did the mom say to the baby?
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
What's your mom on?
Deez nuts!
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Yo momma is so fat that the ground shakes a lot as she walks.
Yo Momma so slutty she uses a SpaceX rocket as a dildo.
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"