Mom jokes

My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.

My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.

Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.

About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."

Mom asked, "Why?"

Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."

When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."

Mom: "No?"

"Like in heaven?" said the mother.

"No, juice," Sally said.

Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"

Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."

Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

What did the mom say to the twins?

"Go crash a plane!"

Your hairline is so bad, I do your mom so hard!

My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"

My bully. 😭

My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!

While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.

Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?

He killed his mom and then fucked her.

I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.

My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.