Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over and he is going to sleep over so I was happy. The next day I ask my mom wheres the dog at my mom ask me what dog. Then I said to my mom I heard Paul said do you want it doggy and you said yeah.
My sister said to roast her bit my mom said im not allowed to burn trash
LLB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land cos Shrek likes to poop
Shrek- should I pull the trap
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
LBB- why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys Mummy
His mom- Maybe because your the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus- should’ve been better Little Bear
LLB -help Mummy he’s the Scratchy monster
Shrek- just kidding it’s not Krampus but indeeds Me and Black Donkey instead, and were going to poop on your floor
Duggie- hopefully Marvins doesn’t see us and by the way want some purplish koolaid
Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And ur mom is too
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of tittys.
What did the cow say to the leather chair? “Hi Mom!”
Violets are blue, roses are red. Last night your mom was giving me head.
I told my mom do you want to see a magic trick she said yes. I said you are going to have hot dog and cream pie together. My mom said no I'm not, but I told my mom I'm going to need your assistance. First I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attach to me which she did, the next minute my mom has a cream pie over here face. Then I told my mom you see you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together. Then my mom said when you are you right you are right.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did it caused me to lose 4 inches.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish
Your mom is so ugly, that she use Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Your mom is so dumb, that somebody told her 'go get a life', she go play Super Mario, and get an 1-up.
Your mom is so dumb, that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mom is so stupid, that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
What's the difference between your mom in bed, and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him bitches always come and go. He’ll looked to me kinda mad kinda confused and said that’s my mom dude
