Mom jokes

Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.

Your mom is ugly.

My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜

Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.

I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?

A son asked his mom: "Why are the lines in the LGBTQ community flag straight?"

Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!

The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.

Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.

The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.

Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.

The person I hate: Rood.

Me: Shut up.

One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.

Dad: Uh, yeah!

Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!

Parents: Sex!

Son: What?

Parents: Look, you can spectate!

Wanna hear a joke?

YOUR MOM!

OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Why did the idiot post so many 9/11 jokes?

Answer: Because his mom is a whore!

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.

Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.