Mom jokes
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week. She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Ur mom gei.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
Your mom's a whore, and so are you!
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Your mother.
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅
"Your pussy is sweeter than Mom's," Brother admired his sister.
"I know," replied Sister. "Father told me too."
Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.