Media Jokes

So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.

Logic fire bars in Fortnite sped up to sound like he [is a] chipmunk like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore :)

Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?

Because he’s always on the webcast.

Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?

Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.

Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.

Howard Stern rules, b*tches!

"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever.

And also GTA logic.

What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?

"Here's the beef of the week!"

The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.

Game of Thrones season 8.

What's a furry's favorite news network?

Fox!

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.

I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.

PORNHUB

Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?

A: Flanders Red Ale.

What do cows like to watch? Moovies.