ME jokes
Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!
Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah: That's sad!
Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.
My friend: How?
Justin: Justin!
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
Mom! Mom! The class called me an orphan.
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
Memes
Friend, you're bold and fat.
Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
My mom told me to clean the sink, but I couldn’t find you.
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.
He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨
Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne
Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket
⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.
Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.
Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!
Teacher: NANI!?!?
Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*
Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*
A question: When is (my name) happy?
Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*
Answer: Never, only a portion.
Friend: Do you need help?
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.