Fuck you jokes

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”

I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

What's the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll fuck you for $10." The boy says, “I would, but I don't have any money.” She says, “Ok, I'll take the duck instead.” He says ok, so they go upstairs and fuck.

The prostitute says, “That’s the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.” So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.

Haha, I fucked you over!

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued," and it said, "Fuck you."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Fuck you you rwind my life.

"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"

A funny joke:

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"

True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.

The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"

Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to fuck you.