ME jokes
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
What's the difference between a knife and me?
One has a point.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
Memes
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.
"CoComelon meme,
No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...
Nobody loves me .v."
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.