ME jokes

What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?

Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?

Why do people have sex?

Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"

A ball hit me in the vagina.

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

Happy April Fool's Day.

I am the fool, now fuck me.

"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno

Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.

Now I got a 31 on the ACT.

My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.

1273 please kill me, everyone hates me.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

They call me Elsa cause I’m too icy! 🥶❄️

Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.

Me say, "Crack my finger."

My hubby crack my finger.

Now say it backwards.

I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."