ME jokes
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.
Every Cobra Kai joke that was made, it's just me.
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.