ME jokes
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
Mum: Why are you throwing a paper plane at the twins?
Me: 😈
Memes
Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?
Me: More than you!
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
"Giggety, giggety." Lois, give me your titties.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
QoS.
QoS who?
QoS there me me who me and you.
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.