ME jokes
So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.
Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
"Giggety, giggety." Lois, give me your titties.
Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
QoS.
QoS who?
QoS there me me who me and you.
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Y'all catch me up, what's going on on this website because I haven't been on for, like, 2 weeks?