ME jokes

Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"

I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.

I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.

Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"

My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.

What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!

Sorry, cringy joke.

How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!

My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."

My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.

I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

"You crack me up!" 😂

Wanna me to show you a joke?

*Points at face* Funny, right?

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

Orphans have it lucky.

When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."

When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"

Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."

Baby: "Lmao, same"

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

What did the parents say to the orphans?

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.