ME jokes
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
Joe Rogan to Christopher Doemges: "What can you tell me about musicians of the 18th century?" Doemges: "They're all dead already!"
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
Who is going to start the robot takeover? Me.
so you have chosen...death
I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.
I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.
Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."
Her: "No."
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_