ME jokes

I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.

What did the rapper say to the fridge?

"Give me a BEET!"

What do math and me on P-hub have in common?

They are both hard.

If you don't have big Nyash,

Lower your voice while talking to me, you Mau Mau warrior. 😂😂😂

Holy cow!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Why the fuck is this guy calling me a crying bitch?

I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.

You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.

I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.