ME jokes
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.
"Me," Wait, what...ever.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.