ME jokes

Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

"You crack me up!" 😂

Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.

Lucky for me I'm only 210.

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."

Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.

Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.

Guys, add me in Discord.

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?

"Prince, please talk to me!"

Prince, where are you? Please talk to me! I swear I love you!

Prince, please talk to me for real...

Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!