ME jokes

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.

Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!

Person: WTF!

Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Ken.

Ken who?

Can you walk the dog for me?

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?

"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot!

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

Me: Then which one are you?

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.