ME jokes

Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

I am thinking of removing my spine.

It's only holding me back.

Like this post and comment down below if you want me to announce my real name in my next post!

My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.

Me: Joe left today.

Orphan: Who's Joe?

Me: Joe mama!

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?

She is the only one that calls me "lamo."

Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?

FUCK ME DADDY!!!!

If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.

"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.

Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!

Person: WTF!

Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"