Mathematics jokes
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
What's 1 + 1?
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
Not quite my tempo
Do you wanna know the best thing about 28 year olds?
There are 20 8 year olds.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
Hello 🤩 I'm here to ask, are there more doors or wheels? Like for doors, dislike for wheels. Comment for your reasons. I'm interested to see what will happen.
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
Why is 8 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 ate 9.