Mathematics jokes
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Why is ten afraid? Because he’s in between nine and eleven.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.
But 10 was afraid, why? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Six, seven.
You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
Did you know I can't count to whatever number is after 4?
I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
What comes after 69?
Period.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS.
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.