Mathematics jokes
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
Do this on a calculator.
There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.
Why is 1026 afraid of 1028?
Because 1028 1029.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
What is the highest number?
420.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.