Problem Solving jokes

So there was a reason why I hated math.

I suck at problem-solving.

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...

Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.

Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?

They are skilled at separating colors.

Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.

How are humans and computers different? A human doesn't have trouble shooting.

My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

You shoot him in the face.

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.

Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"

The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."

Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?

You turn it upside down.

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

Puzzle

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.

How do you piss off a color blind person?

Give them a Rubik's cube.

Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.

So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!