Theory jokes
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
We are in a matrix, wake up.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
Stephen Hawking died.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Who is Stephen Hawking?
3+3=****
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"