Theory jokes
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
There was a power outage.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Stephen Hawking.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
3+3=****
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"