Why Didn't Neptune Marry Saturn?
Because He knew He wasn't Hot!
At weddings, old people tell kids "you're next". At funerals, little kids tell old people "you're next".
what did the man say to his wife? "MAKE ME A DAMN SANDWICH WOMAN!"
Mia: I'm Preganant Again Paul I Can't wait for you to come home. Paul: I Got a Tree to Hit on the Way
whats a mans favorite thing that starts with m and ends with arraige
Miscarriage
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Why did my wife leave me?
I wish I knew.
wife: stop telling rape jokes, its not funny. husband: who raped you this morning?
my neighbor is like my marraige they're bothin the hole.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Said the man angered to his wife: Now stopp the dann suicide trys! Just look at the gasbill!?
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?To have someone to call "daddy"
Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear
A wife asks her husband: am I pretty or ugly? The husband awnsers her: pretty. The wife responds: thank yo- The husband interrupts her: PRETTY UGLY!
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again. Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid! Wife: Kid? Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
What is the craziest thing an indian man does for sex??.................................................. marriage
How many beans are there in Irish Chili?? A: 239 Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine? A: ( spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more it'd be two farty. ..lol
So one day i have a wife but if its getting a longer day she is moving so weird and i see she has sex with rick astley😂 [rickrolled]
I caught the flowers at a wedding-now married to a hot guy. But then i caught andit at a funeral i kinda nervo...............
