Marriage jokes
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!
My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.
I said, "Maybe."
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
Two antennas got married. The ceremony dragged on, but the reception was excellent.
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.