Marriage jokes
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Chump obviously wants to divorce Melania and marry Pootin, lmfao.
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
What can't a sniper say to his wife?
"I missed you."
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.