Marriage Jokes

my wife accused me of cheating I told her she started to sound like my wife

Said the man angered to his wife: Now stopp the dann suicide trys! Just look at the gasbill!?

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient

The Police officer in London , Who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman , drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car , murder her and do whatever to her , has appealed against his Whole Life tarriff.

He should be relieved it was only that ! , could of been worse ... could of married her !

Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and was everything OK with his wife flo. He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could but he just couldn't get overflow

What is the craziest thing an indian man does for sex??.................................................. marriage

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again. Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid! Wife: Kid? Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

POV: Wine Taster in hell

I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."

What's the difference between a tornado and Divorce down south Nothing some Losing a Trailer

Husband and wife get into a fight wife says “go blow off some steam I’ll let you fuck a hooker” so he does that comes back and says “I’m off the hook now”

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal

why was the people's wedding so miserable... cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky they agreed to never try to have another wedding

How many beans are there in Irish Chili?? A: 239 Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine? A: ( spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more it'd be two farty. ..lol