Many jokes
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Memes
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many fans!
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
How many feet are in feet?
Why did the idiot post so many 9/11 jokes?
Answer: Because his mom is a whore!
Why don’t butts ever win at cards?
Too many farts!