Many jokes
There are many types, good and bad, all at a reasonable price (€3.90 per week), and you can buy crushed stone for €5. It can be fresher and tastier than ever.
The president of a company comes in to talk to his employees. He says, "As you know, sales have been way down and many of you are not meeting your quotas. We decided to SHAKE things up a bit and introduce you to our new Vice President: Michael J. Fox."
Tung tung tung sahur. Three tungs when you say his name? So many tungs I oughta call you a polyglot.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.
I am proficient in many subjects including biology, sociology, scientology, and of course, idiotology. ☺️
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
Q: How many aborted babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
There are so many things about Tracy Latimer's murder that I wish I knew. Did he buckle up her seatbelt? Did he put the radio on for her?
Did he tell her she was going on a little trip to Gastown?
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
How many racist jokes am I allowed to make?
None.
Because I don't make jokes.
I make many jokes about jobless people, but none of them are working.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?
A. An intrusive thot.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.