Many jokes
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans!"
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
Why did the wheel fall?
Because there were too many fat people on it.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many fans!