Many Jokes

If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?

0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.

Why did the wheel fall?

Because there were too many fat people on it.

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 35! Do you have a problem with that?

how many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

MORE BAD JOKES

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Tentacles!

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

The image is an infographic about the dangers of smoking. It lists many of the negative health effects of smoking. It states that within 10 seconds of a puff, toxic chemicals reach organs. Smoking harms most of the body, increases disease risk, and affects look, feel, finances and people close to you. Nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive and it releases dopamine. Nicotine dependence happens when the brain craves dopamine. Smoking is a major cause of cardiovascular disease, heart attack, and stroke. It increases the risk of blood clots. Some smokers have limbs amputated due to blood circulation problems. A graph lists the annual deaths caused by cigarette smoking in the United States between 2005-2009. It shows over 479,989 deaths. The causes include: lung cancer, ischemic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, other diagnoses, stroke, and other cancers. The stages of lung cancer are shown.

So dark.

Many jokes about orphans.

God, this is the second worst thing to happen to these orphans!

Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

Person 1: How smart are you?

Person 2: Really smart.

Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?

Person 2: 1 ghost is left.

Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!

You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.

How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.

Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?

It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.

me: how many letters are in the alphabet? that one friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T

Why don’t rappers ever get cold?

Because they have so many fans!

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."