Many jokes
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? 327.
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.