Many jokes
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.
How many thumbs down can this joke get?
Joke: Runescape, mustard, tits, Pamela Anderson.
Memes
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!
Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
Your mama has slept with so many guys, she's starting to look like one.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.