Many jokes
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
How many children does Explain Bear have?
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
I only have 4 moods:
• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you
I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything
and don't forget the inevitable
• fuck it
and for those who have just given up
• fuck
This is beautiful.
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.