Man Jokes

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

The image is a flow chart titled "Marvel Viewing Order." It includes a mix of Marvel movies and other films, shows, and people, including Captain America, Captain Marvel, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Iron Man 2, Avengers, Iron Man 3, Chicken Run, Age of Empires IV, How I Met Your Mother, Boss Baby, Looney Tunes Back in Action, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Disappearance of Madeleine McCann, Scooby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Summer Heights High, Lego Indiana Jones 2 The Adventure Continues, The Cat in the Hat, Ted Cruz, and Avengers Endgame.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."

The officer said, "There is no traffic."

The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"

"White beta males and fake alpha males are a joke that goes for POC men too."

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"