Man jokes
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
Transgenders! Men in disguise!
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
My brother when he sees a girl.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.
Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly."
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."